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  1. *

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    Summary

    Harris: Hi, Shane!
    Harris: This is Harris Drover.
    Harris: I got your number from Ilya.
    Harris: Sorry to bother you, but I had a question.
    Harris: I know you’re coming in to sign contracts tomorrow, and I had an idea for a social media thing to announce your signing, if you’d be up for it?

    Shane: Oh, yeah, okay.
    Shane: I’ll be there, so we can do whatever.
    Shane: Always happy to help the team with a little internet humiliation that’ll be around for decades.

    Harris: Perfect!
    Harris: I promise, I think you’ll really like this, though.
    Harris: No humiliation involved.
    Harris: The only caveat is, you can’t tell Ilya.

    Shane: Okay?
    Shane: Why?

    Harris: Well.
    Harris: Here’s what I’m thinking.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,450
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    867
    Kudos:
    23,224
    Bookmarks:
    2,594
    Hits:
    90,215
  2. *

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    “Who are you talking to?” Sveta is looking with a raised eyebrow, at Ilya’s delighted face.

    “Ah, I am talking to my catfish.”

    “What do you mean, your catfish?” Ilya angles the phone so Sveta can see the shirtless picture on the screen.

    “This guy is pretending to be Shane Hollander on Grindr. It’s pretty funny. He’s cropped the face out, but he’s using pictures from the billboard next to my apartment.”

    Or: Ilya Rozanov is sure he's being catfished- why would the real Shane Hollander be on Grindr, talking to random university of Ottawa students? But the more he talks to Wayne, the more he starts to like him, and the more he wishes Wayne would just come clean so they can finally be together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,715
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    611
    Kudos:
    10,324
    Bookmarks:
    1,582
    Hits:
    117,999
  3. *

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    Summary

    Nakamura has never kissed anyone, and on that subject, neither has Matsumura. Are either of them truly worthy of Hirose if they're too inexperienced to woo him the way he deserved?

     

    Or: Nakamura and Matsumura realize they need to practice.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,537
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    230
    Kudos:
    2,984
    Bookmarks:
    309
    Hits:
    19,454
  4. *

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    Summary

    What if Shane broke no contact post Tuna Meltdown by texting Ilya "happy new year?"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,617
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    99
    Kudos:
    2,010
    Bookmarks:
    248
    Hits:
    16,251
  5. *

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    Summary

    “I’m trying to figure out,” Rose wonders aloud. “Are you always a complete prick? Just with women? Or just when you lose a game?”

    Ilya barks a laugh, shocked and almost delighted, and his smile spreads wide enough that Rose can see all those pearly whites of his that are so much nicer than she expected any hockey player’s to be. “All the time,” he grins, “all the time. However much of an asshole Hollander has told you I am, double it.”

    She answers truthfully, shrugs her shoulders in her tiny silver dress. “He hasn’t mentioned you at all.”

    After a shitshow of an evening in a Montreal nightclub, Ilya wakes up the next morning in Shane’s bed. Only, he’s not in Shane’s bed — Rose Landry is, and he’s in Rose Landry’s body, and she’s in his. Well, what the fuck are they supposed to do with that?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    80,818
    Chapters:
    10/18
    Comments:
    1,068
    Kudos:
    1,133
    Bookmarks:
    337
    Hits:
    22,038
  6. *

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    Summary

    Jane

    10:14 PM
    Did you tell my mom about us?

    10:29 PM
    No. Only that you are sometimes gay and moan like pornstar taking cock

    10:29 PM
    ?????

    10:31 PM
    We were stuck in elevator. I was nice. Told her nothing about you

    ____

    Arriving at the hotel for the 2017 All-Star game, Ilya and Yuna Hollander get stuck in an elevator together. After, Shane, who hasn't talked to Ilya since Tuna Melt day, texts him about it. They talk.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,025
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    190
    Kudos:
    4,941
    Bookmarks:
    751
    Hits:
    29,903
  7. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya: I think Shane is going to break up with me.

    Bood: I’m sorry…what?

    Hayes: You think Shane Hollander is going to break up with you?
    Hayes: Shane Hollander.
    Hayes: The Shane Hollander who learned Russian for you?

    Bood: The Shane Hollander who drives back and forth from Montreal any chance he gets to see you?

    Barrett: The Shane Hollander who started a charity with you and named it after your mother?

    Bood: The Shane Hollander who just generally puts up with you and seems mostly happy about it?

    Ilya: It does boggle the mind.
    Ilya: But yes, I’m almost certain of it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,920
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    347
    Kudos:
    18,631
    Bookmarks:
    2,642
    Hits:
    122,840
  8. 3

    Tags
    Summary

    While it feels like everyone and their mother is talking about all the craziness that went down, Ilya’s brain is stuck on a quieter moment in time: a boy — Shane Hollander — leaning all over a wall like a crutch, telling him he doesn’t have a girlfriend and sure, he might see Ilya around. A grounding cigarette that burned too quick somehow, and more freckles than he could count while it did.

    Fuck, Ilya couldn’t stop thinking about him.

    or, a college au. ilya spills beer on a pretty redhead, shane never stops doing his very best, and there’s voyeuristic squirrels.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,285
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    264
  9. *

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    Summary

    Immediately follows the fight on Boxing Day, where Ilya tells Shane to leave. To please go home.

    After seeking advice from a trusted friend, Shane returns to make things right between them.

    Truths will be revealed, exposing the cracks in their relationship that Shane hasn't seen and Ilya hasn't wanted to reveal; forcing hard conversations and even harder decisions.

    Is love enough to keep them together? If so, what needs to change? Will anything stay the same?

    The biggest question Shane asks himself as they wade through years of miscommunication and hurt is 'Where do we go from here?'

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,909
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Comments:
    291
    Kudos:
    1,231
    Bookmarks:
    465
    Hits:
    30,075
  10. 99

    Tags
    Summary

    “You are having sex really loudly. Actually your girlfriend. She’s really loud. I have an exam in the morning, or 6 hours from now and I really can’t live under a bridge so please can you guys keep it down?”

    “Not my girlfriend,” his neighbor said, smiling at Shane’s 2AM word vomit.

    “That makes sense,” Shane says without thinking.

    “Why does it make sense?,” his neighbor asked with curiosity sparking in his eyes.

    “She’s moaning like she has something to prove,” Shane said bluntly.

    -----

    or Shane has a hot new neighbor named Ilya Rozanov. Shenanigans ensue.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,740
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    418
    Bookmarks:
    99
    Hits:
    6,423
  11. *

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    Summary

    Bood: And what would this person need to get Roz to settle down?
    Roz: must be most beautiful person you have ever seen
    Roz: very funny but does not know they are funny
    Roz: and suck dick like their life depends on it

    Or: The Centaurs know that Roz is sad, and probably a little lonely. So they do their best to set him up with someone who matches his specific list of requirements. What they don't know is that their captain has already found that person.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,781
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    11
    Comments:
    864
    Kudos:
    24,018
    Bookmarks:
    4,010
    Hits:
    126,237
  12. *

    Tags
    Summary

    While trying to write to his friend studying abroad in Moscow, Shane Hollander accidentally reaches Ilya Rozanov.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,660
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    9,216
    Kudos:
    46,551
    Bookmarks:
    12,801
    Hits:
    689,683
  13. *

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    Summary

    “So. That’s it? Those are the rules?” Hayden asked. “Don’t go through your texts or photos, keep up with your workouts and diet, and listen to everything Yuna says, without question.”

    Shane seemed to be thinking about it, pausing a second. All of a sudden, he looked up at Hayden, again with that intense anxiety face.

    “And most importantly, do not talk to Ilya Rozanov. Ever. No matter what.” Shane said, “Avoid him. Don’t even look at him. OK?”

    Hayden nodded, and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Like he even needed to be told that. Besides, Shane had been avoiding Ilya Rozanov for his entire career. How hard could it be?

    OR a well-meaning witch bodyswaps Shane and Hayden (to teach them about the power of friendship) the day before the 2017 All Stars Game.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46,680
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    1,336
    Kudos:
    3,941
    Bookmarks:
    898
    Hits:
    56,150
    • 30 Jun 2026

      Public Bookmark

      Bookmark Notes:

      7/7

    • 30 Jun 2026

      Public Bookmark

      Bookmark Tags:
      Bookmark Notes:

      my grass is greener than yours
      by Kach_wow

       

      “So. That’s it? Those are the rules?” Hayden asked. “Don’t go through your texts or photos, keep up with your workouts and diet, and listen to everything Yuna says, without question.”

      Shane seemed to be thinking about it, pausing a second. All of a sudden, he looked up at Hayden, again with that intense anxiety face.

      “And most importantly, do not talk to Ilya Rozanov. Ever. No matter what.” Shane said, “Avoid him. Don’t even look at him. OK?”

      Hayden nodded, and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Like he even needed to be told that. Besides, Shane had been avoiding Ilya Rozanov for his entire career. How hard could it be?

      OR a well-meaning witch bodyswaps Shane and Hayden (to teach them about the power of friendship) the day before the 2017 All Stars Game.

    • 30 Jun 2026

      Public Bookmark

    • 30 Jun 2026

      Public Bookmark

    • 29 Jun 2026

      Public Bookmark

  14. *

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    Summary

    Life after Heated Rivalry from Yuna's POV, with lots of texting.

    Technically a sequel to "Shane's Lily", but you don't need to read that in order to understand this.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,488
    Chapters:
    33/?
    Comments:
    3,125
    Kudos:
    9,839
    Bookmarks:
    1,483
    Hits:
    256,302
  15. *

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    Summary

    “Hollander, did you hear about this shit?”

    Shane glanced up from his phone. “What?”

    “Come here, look.”

    Shane crossed the locker room to stand beside Hayden. J.J. tilted his phone screen towards them to show a news headline. ‘Iced Out’ Is Catching Fire: Russian Rap Song Goes Viral Thanks to Hockey Star Ilya Rozanov

    “What the hell?” Shane heard himself ask. “Wait, they just asked me about this.”

    “I fucking hate this guy,” Hayden groaned. “I swear to God he did this purposely to fuck with all of us.”

    aka

    the one where Ilya's featured on a viral rap song, and Shane can't figure out why he keeps getting hard in the middle of games.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,155
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    243
    Kudos:
    2,532
    Bookmarks:
    564
    Hits:
    25,513
  16. 26

    Words:
    174,359
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    27
  17. 39

    Tags
    Summary

    Most people wouldn’t hop in the car and drive for three hours in the middle of the night because of a couple drunk texts from their partner.

    Ilya Rozanov is not most people.

    Or: Shane calls, Ilya comes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,418
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    443
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    3,602
  18. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov, captain of the Boston Raiders, has a boyfriend. A definitely real, suspiciously (and boringly) handsome, conveniently offline, consistently unable to meet up in real life boyfriend.

    Who lives in Canada.

    Unfortunately for him, absolutely no one believes him.

    The more serious Ilya gets about his Totally Real Canadian Boyfriend™️, the more concerned his teammates become that someone either needs to call MTV and get him on the next episode of Catfish or that he's slowly losing his mind.

    Shane Hollander is, fortunately, very real, very sarcastic, and increasingly delighted that an entire NHL locker room seems to think that he's a government psyop to distract Ilya from his game.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,633
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    687
    Kudos:
    9,331
    Bookmarks:
    1,498
    Hits:
    56,007
  19. 23

    Tags
    Summary

    [email protected] - Your package has been delived to your adress.

    Hayden: Hey man, I think your package had been delivered to my house? Can I open it? I'm curious.

    [opens without a reply]

    Hayden fining out about Ilya and Shane after a wrong delivery of sex toys.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,673
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    248
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    2,493
  20. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Selected text messages from the phones of Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander, circa 2020-2021.

     
    Troy Barrett: I’m planning to drive up to Toronto to finish packing up my apartment on Saturday, and I was wondering if you’d want to grab dinner after your game while we’re both in town?
    -
    Jane: …did you tell Barrett about us?
    Lily: no i promise
    Lily: he maybe thinks it is possible, but i did not tell
    Jane: I don’t think he has any idea
    Lily: what makes you say this
    Jane: Just a hunch

     
    Or: Troy asks for Shane’s number, and Ilya gives it to him. What could go wrong? Or maybe more importantly, what could go right?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,321
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    353
    Kudos:
    3,216
    Bookmarks:
    626
    Hits:
    42,129

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